A review of Kahlil Gibran’s philosophy on child education

Please read and ponder what Lebanese philosopher Kahlil Gibran, who is known for his books “The Prophet” and “Jesus, the Son of Man,” wrote about child education in his poem, “On Children”:

Your children are not your children.

They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself.

They come through you but not from you,

And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.

You may give them your love but not your thoughts,

For they have their own thoughts.

You may house their bodies but not their souls,

For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,

which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.

You may strive to be like them,

but seek not to make them like you.

For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.

You are the bows from which your children

as living arrows are sent forth.

The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite,

and He bends you with His might

that His arrows may go swift and far.

Let your bending in the archer’s hand be for gladness;

For even as He loves the arrow that flies,

so He loves also the bow that is stable.

Gibran’s philosophy on child education seems very plausible in this poem. It sounds so reasonable. He actually makes some good arguments. As a result, many people have been greatly influenced by this poem, and raising free-range kids is a fact of life these days. However, it’s important to know there are many claims in Gibran’s poem that are completely contrary to the guidelines given in Scripture.

First, it is the parents’ responsibility to train their children in God’s ways. Before our children are our sons and daughters, they are the sons and daughters of God. In that, Gibran is absolutely right. But just because they are children of God doesn’t mean they are automatically born with a Godly way of thinking and don’t need training or development. We must keep in mind that we human beings are born without righteous judgment and the ability to make wise decisions on our own. Gibran writes, “You may give them love but not your thoughts, for they have their own thoughts. You may house their bodies but not their souls, for their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.” This argument is not based upon the guidelines given in Scripture, but a false claim based on fundamentally wrong humanistic thought. The problem with humanity diagnosed by Scripture, especially in children, is that they are born in a completely helpless state, not knowing anything about the future. Therefore, all people who have never heard the Gospel or fail to receive a spiritual education are bound to live and die not knowing anything, essentially like animals. Jesus told people about the reality of mankind on many occasions during his time on the earth, and once said, “Not what goes into the mouth defiles a man; but what comes out of the mouth, this defiles a man.” That is, dirty and sinful things come out of the mouth of man because every human being is born full of filth and pollution. So, if parents don’t instill upright ideals, values, view of life, view of the world, and conscience in their children’s minds through education, they must know children themselves cannot think sensibly or have a principled view of things. The problem with modern trends based on humanism is on the false premise that humans are born good. That is why society advises parents to foster autonomy in children. Scripture says that we are born sinners and that we are by nature sinners. “As it is written: There is no one righteous, not even one; there is no one who understands; there is no one who seeks God. All have turned away, they have together become worthless; there is no one who does good, not even one” (Romans 3:10-12). Man is born a sinner, so he is naturally bound to go down a sinful path. So what might happen if we leave our children alone to navigate this evil world full of sinful people? The world will inevitably make sure our children grow up to be wicked people. Therefore, we cannot just give children their space and expect them to grow up well with no problem. Above everything else, parents should help their children establish a world of righteous thinking by continuously and diligently instilling the Biblical truth in their minds and thoughts.

Second, parents must be sure to know restraining their child and guiding him into the world of truth and righteousness are two completely different issues. Gibran writes, “You may house their bodies, but not their souls.” But it’s wrong to simply assume the act of parents conveying to their children what they believe to be the truth and training them to live by it as putting the yoke of oppression on their children’s psyche. Moreover, presuming that teaching children the truth of Scripture and training them to live their lives by the truth are ways of shackling them is a wrong perception. From this point of view, marriage, for example, can be seen as bondage because a man and a woman promise to love only each other and live by that promise forever. But marriage isn’t a bond, it’s a divine and precious institution that allows us to live freely and safely. The bridge railing imposes restrictions on our potentially dangerous behavior, but we don’t say the railing is a device that restrains us, rather, we believe it protects us. Why is it restraining to teach our children the Biblical truth and prevent wicked thoughts from entering and settling in their minds? Preventing children from having access to scholarship and the truth of Scripture can be a form of oppression, but teaching children about God who created the heaven and the earth is not a burden, but rather a safety catch that guides them toward the way, the truth, and the life.

Third, we must never forget, even for a moment, that there is a heavenly home in which parents and children will live together. Gibran claims, “You may house their bodies but not their souls, for their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams,” but this is clearly a wrong idea, at least in terms of faith. It’s usually not a big deal if children are able to go to places their parents cannot visit or even go in their dreams, since parents wish only the best for their kids. However, there is a kingdom of God parents and children must enter together in the end. Therefore, as we live on this earth, we should always remember that we belong to a heavenly home where we must live with our children and our brothers and sisters in Christ, and live as citizens of heaven. We also have a responsibility to teach our children to live like citizens of heaven, help them to set clear goals, and train them to trust in God until the end and consistently move forward.

Fourth, only when parents treat and respect their children as adults, rather than go down to their level, can parents truly train them properly. Gibran’s words, “You may strive to be like them” carries conviction, but in fact, there are no arguments that hinder a child’s education more than Gibran’s and its likes. What would happen if a parent is brought down to their child’s level? For example, what would happen when a parent tries to get down to their child’s level when he or she is misbehaving, running around, and making a mess? How would you treat your child when he or she is ignoring you? Parents believe it’s natural for children to be noisy or drop and break things and consider children running around everywhere as a good sign of them being happy and energetic. Parents also believe children making a mess is a way for them to enjoy their freedom and consequently leave them alone in the hopes of fostering their creativity. Eventually, such static parental involvement encouraged by social trends results in spoiled, foolish, unfocused and careless children, and parents have no choice but to continue to understand, help, love, encourage and be on their side without trying to train or suppress their bad behavior. What would be the result of this? Even if they are children who are young and naive, parents should be diligent in teaching their children what they ought to teach them. Instead of trying to get down to their child’s level, parents should lead, encourage, support and take care of their child with a loving heart without becoming discouraged so he or she could rise to their level.

Finally, parents have a responsibility to make their children believe in the God they worship. Assuming child education to simply be “making children be like their parents” is a frustrating and foolish idea that can only be found in those who do not know God or the absolute truth. Gibran’s “You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you. For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday,” is extremely bad advice in that sense. Even though we live in the modern world, if we do not know Jesus and do not belong to Him, we have no hope. Of course, parents should never force their children to be like their fleshly selves, but it is perfectly reasonable to push a child to be more like the parents themselves, who love and belong to Jesus Christ. Actually, this is an issue for which we have to put our lives on the line. People of this world clamor out at individuals who encourage them to believe in Jesus, “Don’t argue that only what you believe is right, and don’t force others to believe what you believe.” But why should parents be passive in teaching their beloved children about the Jesus Christ they believe in? That makes no sense. Parents should go back with their children to Jesus, who was crucified more than 2,000 years ago to give us life. Only the person who discovers the truth can truly know the truth. Spiritually, at least, parents should be able to introduce their children to Jesus, whom they know, depend on, hope for, and love, and advise them to follow His will. We should never entrust our children to time, for it cannot solve our problems naturally. We cannot know Jesus unless we meet Him. It is natural for the people who’ve met Jesus first to tell others to believe in Him. Moreover, parents who came to believe in Jesus first should introduce their children to Him, teach them Biblical values and a spiritual view of life, introduce and explain the spiritual world. We know very well that, even though he was in prison, the Apostle Paul confidently sought to evangelize Porcius Festus and Herod Agrippa, the procurator and king of Judea. Children have to leave their parents someday. Before that day comes, parents should actively introduce their children to Jesus who lives in them, let them experience His love, train them and prepare them in advance so they can successfully take off for the world with “our Lord Jesus Christ.”