Question

I’m curious to know the appropriate age to educate a child and whether it is unreasonable to spank a child or expect him to obey his mother when he is too young to express himself or speak in sentences (many sources say twins or multiples tend to experience a higher rate of speech and language development delays).

Answer

Contrary to popular belief, there is no appropriate or correct age to educate a child. A faith-based education, in particular, begins before the birth of a child. Do not sit and wait until a child’s cognitive development happens outside the family in a social setting. A God-fearing, faith-based education must start now. In other words, do not try to educate your child in the ways of the Lord after his language and motor development or after he is exposed to outside influences. Train your child in the truths of God before anything else so that secular education and public schooling can follow. Is that not the only way in which believers will righteously lead the world? In other words, a faith-based education through which a child develops the ability to transcend secular values must be prioritized in order for a church to become an institution that transforms Hollywood, rather than one that receives help from Hollywood. Therefore, do not try and impart a faith-based education after a child’s speech is fully developed, but allow him to develop his verbal skills through education.

Generally, a child’s verbal ability is hugely dependent on how often his parents talk to him; children who have parents who talk to them often develop stronger conversational skills than those who do not. It would be fair to say the reason why twins or multiples tend to experience a higher rate of speech and language development delays is because they do not have as much time to talk to their parents than single-born children. Since twins naturally do almost everything together, the time they spend with each other is relatively longer than that of siblings who are not twins. That also means the time a pair of twins spends talking to their parents is relatively shorter compared to siblings born more than a year apart. But if parents take time and intentionally make an effort to teach their children God’s Word, their intellectual and speech development will naturally pick up. Therefore, instead of thinking the best bet is to wait until a child’s speech has fully developed, believe that educating a child to love the Lord is the wiser path, even if he is too young to communicate.

Being unable to express oneself in sentences does not mean one is unable to understand anything. Even newborns who cannot speak understand the general meaning of what their parents are saying, recognize things by sight, and respond accordingly. In our daily lives, we actually use much more nonverbal communication cues than verbal cues and place greater meaning in how people say something as opposed to what they say. We are also equipped with the ability to read nonverbal cues and understand the message someone is trying to get across. Thus, even if your child’s linguistic ability has yet to develop, you can start educating him as much as you would like.

Answering the last part of the question, parents as shepherds should not hesitate to discipline a child by spanking him. Using the rod is a very effective method to teach a child right from wrong and a parental duty to raise respectful kids who love God. Thus, it is highly appropriate to spank a child in early childhood to deter undesirable behavior and provide authoritative guidance. Do not be tied down by the groundless claim that the rod is only meant to herd animals. In Scripture, God instructs us to discipline our children, and when properly administered out of love, it will set them on the right path.